Has it been 12 years?!

October 3, 2010

Twelve years is a long time to get to know someone.  My wife (one of her websites is here) and I got married on October 4th 1998.  Nothing in my life has challenged me more to love and be loved as has my marriage.

It is an other-worldly thing to find your own joy and happiness so connected to the joy and happiness of another and to strive for their happiness precisely because it brings you so much joy.  You know that moment where children become so elated with laughter or the joy of playing that you can’t help but break out into laughter yourself.  You are enjoying their joy.

Vanessa and I are coming through a very hard season in our marriage and it has not been an easy process.  I can’t over-emphasize the importance of our seeking out marriage counseling, probably the best money we’ve ever spent.  It’s wrong to think that counseling is only for those marriages that are about to split because by then it’s usually too late.  A friend of mine once told me that most people seek out marriage counseling SIX YEARS too late… long after the damage is already done.  There is also the importance of a loving community of believers who support us as we grow in grace towards each other (here’s ours).

The realities of marriage (and love in general for that matter) don’t jive real well with the bill of goods we’re sold in our culture.  It’s messy.  We do great damage to each other and to ourselves.  Yes I’m hard to live with but so is this beautiful  woman God gave me…go figure!  We are both equal sinners in need of equal grace.

After 12 years I can say without doubt that I love Vanessa with all my heart and I know she loves me the same.  But for each of us, and all of us, that love is not enough.  There is a love to which our temporary love points and it is in the love of Christ towards us sinners that we must ultimately place all of our hope.

With that said;

Happy Anniversary to my friend, my love, my wife!  You are an amazing person and it is my joy to know you more!

Our engagement pic - when I still had hair! 😉


3 Responses to “Has it been 12 years?!”

  1. laura Says:

    How sweet!

  2. Heather Says:

    Congrats on this longevity. Truely is amazing.

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